


Faith Restored

by LusciousDean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean/Cas Big Bang (Supernatural), Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fix It Fic, Fuck cw, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, dean and cas - Freeform, dean is bi, fluffy ass shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:35:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27678857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LusciousDean/pseuds/LusciousDean
Summary: When Dean and Sam have defeated all the “big bad” and are left to deal with... Their own emotions! Oh no! How will they ever cope.Or the one where Dean regrets not telling castiel how he felt but might be granted another opportunity to do just that.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Castiel, DeanCas, Destiel
Comments: 1
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! This is the first chapter of a two part fix it fic! Fuck the real ending of supernatural, i’m here to soothe my soul and maybe a few of your souls along the way. Enjoy! Second part coming soon!

Dean woke up with a massive hangover. The past few days had been the worst thing he’d ever experienced in his life. He didn’t know whether to cry or laugh, he didn’t know what was real anymore. Only a few days ago had he seen the love of his life snatched brutally from him and he didn’t know if he could live with himself anymore.

The worst part was that Cas had poured his heart out to Dean. Told him everything he had felt from the beginning, and what did Dean say? Nothing. Dean was stunned. Astonished even. He never really considered the fact that Castiel might feel the same and even if he did, nothing would ever happen. That’s why, when castiel said those three words, Dean froze, and god he wished he wouldn’t have. 

On the outside, dean looked fine. He put on a front for his little brother because he knew that Sam was hurting too. Yet dean was only a shell of a man. He didn’t feel anymore. The only way he even felt emotions since cas was through alcohol, so he drank and drank until he completely numbed every bone in his body. 

He stood in his bathroom looking at his eyes. Swollen, droopy, he was a mess.. no. He was more than a mess, he was a catastrophe. The color had drained from his face, his hair hadn’t been washed, he was a dead man walking. He washed his face and decided he’d take a shower later, hoping it’d make him feel better but knowing deep down that nothing could fix him. Not his car, not Sam, not Miracle. The only thing that could fix him was someone long gone, and he was yet to accept that. 

Dean trudged into the kitchen but as soon as he saw Sam he put on a smile. 

“Mornin’ sammy.” Dean remarked, trying his best to sound unphased by everything that had happened over the course of the past few days.

“yea.” Sam mumbled, staring into his coffee.

“We've… got a new case. A vamps nest I assume. Want to take it?” Sam asked Dean hoping he’d say yes. Part of being a Winchester was burying yourself in work whenever a tragedy happened. 

“Uh.. I don’t really.. I don’t know. Maybe we should let someone else take it.” Dean stated. He usually would never turn down a case, but with everything going on he felt they needed some time to recuperate and breathe. For some reason he felt like it would be best for them to sit this one out. 

Dean poured himself some coffee then sat down across from sam. Sam and Dean sat in silence while drinking coffee, neither of them saying anything about the recent events. 

The day had passed by fairly quickly, Sam looking for cases on his computer and Dean sitting in his room trying to contain his emotions. Dean decided that he would try and eat something, though lately he hadn’t been able to keep much down. He walked into the kitchen, grabbed some food, and brought it to the library. He set it down on the table and looked around. Sam must’ve been in his room because dean was seemingly alone. He looked at his toast and pushed it away, he couldn’t be bothered to eat right now.

He put his head in his hands as the last words castiel said to him played over and over in his head. 

“I cared about this whole world, but I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean. I love you.”

He choked back tears, wishing he couldn’t feel anything. He removed his hands from his face and stared at the table. He felt as if someone was taking his bones and crushing them. He wanted this pain to go away, but he knew it wouldn’t anytime soon. 

“Dean?” Sam questioned when he walked into the room, noticing Dean’s upset state. 

“Fuck.” Dean whispered.

“Yea Sammy?” Dean said wiping his eyes, trying to smile but failing miserably.

“Okay, Dean. Listen to me. I know you’ve been avoiding talking about the past few days, but you can’t just… not talk about everything that’s happened. Do you really think I don’t notice you trying to drown yourself in alcohol? It isn’t healthy and clearly you aren’t going to bring this up so I’ll just do it. I don’t know what cas told you, but it must’ve hit you hard. I know how you felt about him. So talk.” Sam stated, taking a big breath at the end of his rant.

“What the hell do you want me to say sam?” Dean snapped, standing up aggravated and not wanting to talk about everything but knowing that he would have to sometime in the near future if Sam kept pushing like he was now. No way in hell was Dean going to share his feelings about cas to anyone.

“Why won’t you let yourself mourn someone you love?” Sam asked and the room went silent.

“I didn’t-” Dean started, but Sam cut him off.

“Bullshit. You loved him as much as I loved- just loved Eileen.” Sam hesitated saying Eileen's name, certainly still upset about losing Eileen but knowing it was Dean's turn to vent, that is, if Sam could get him to. 

“FINE. I am- was in love with Castiel. Is that what you wanted to hear Sam? Oh, i’m bisexual too. If you want to hate me that’s fucking fine. Just leave.” Dean fumed.

Dean took a breath as he thought about the man he’d been avoiding thinking about. He didn’t know what internalized homophobia was until Charlie brought it to his attention. Explained that it wasn’t bad to be anything other than straight, that straight wasn’t the default. Charlie was the first, and only one dean had ever come out to. Now he had just come out to Sam. He felt Relieved, anxious and heartbroken over the fact that he never got to come out to Castiel. He figured Sam would be fine with him being… whatever he was, yet Dean was still too nervous to tell Sam, hoping it wouldn’t change Sam's view on him or hoping that Sam wouldn’t, for some reason, hate him. Dean sat down again and sighed. 

“Dean-” Sam stated, shocked.

Dean turned around to see someone he didn’t expect to see ever again.


	2. Fake Jack? No. Real Jack.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack visits the winchesters with more than exciting news, but can they trust that it’s really him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! Thank you for so many reads, that was unbelievable. Here is the second chapter! I think chapter three will be the last chapter. Enjoy!

Jack was standing in the doorway. Sam and Dean were shocked, with Jack taking up the god position, they just assumed he wouldn’t have time to associate with them. 

“Hello Sam, Dean.” Jack said with a smile as Sam walked over to hug him.

Sam and Dean hugged Jack and then Jack asked them to sit down.

“I have some… news. Sam, maybe you should leave the room for a second? It might be a little personal for dean and.. I don’t know.” Jack stated and Sam nodded leaving the room.

Dean was sitting in front of Jack, curious and a bit anxious. What could Jack possibly say that was only Deans business? The only thing Dean could think of was…. No. It had to be something different, surely. 

“Dean, I’m very sorry about cas…. but I think there might be something we could do about it.” Jack hesitated, not sure if Dean would be on board.

“what do you mean? are you sure??” Dean tilted his head, confused, excited, and waiting for the catch. 

With things like this, deals, there is always a catch, but that is something dean would be okay with this time. Dean would do anything to get Cas back and knowing that he might have a chance to, was probably one of the best things he’d ever heard in his life.

“The empty is… hard to handle to say the least. It always takes a deal to get someone out and still even then.. it’s difficult. Yet, since i’m technically god, it’s a little easier for me. The empty and I… made a deal.” Jack told Dean, and Dean stood up.

“Jack, I swear to god if you made some deal for you to replace cas or somethi-” Dean started but Jack cut him off.

“No Dean. The deal doesn’t involve me. It involves you and cas. Dean, the empty says they’ll give Cas back if you… if you admit that you love castiel. Another thing, Cas will be human. That’s what the empty wants. For you to tell Cas how you feel and for cas to be human so he isn’t able to come back.” Jack responded and Dean's mouth fell open. 

“How the hell is it that easy?” Dean questioned, utterly confused. 

“Well… Cas has been- annoying the empty? Screaming, yelling, singing, basically any noisy thing you could think of. The empty just… wants him gone.” Jack confirmed. 

Dean just stood there for a moment, taking in the information he was just given. Then he lost his shit. He started laughing so hard you'd think he had just been to a comedy club.

“You’re-” Dean had to catch his breath, then he started again.

“You’re telling me… Cas annoyed the empty so much that the empty is willing to put him back on earth????” Dean started laughing again and at that point, Sam walked in the room. 

“Sam, is he okay?” Jack questioned and Sam just looked at Dean confused. 

“Yea… yea Jack i’m fine.” Dean coughed after laughing, wiping his eyes.

“So uh… do you agree to the deal, Dean?” Jack asked and Dean quickly responded.

“Yes, One hundred million times yes I agree.” Dean nodded and breathed out a breath. 

For a while, nothing happened. Dean questioned if this Jack was even the real Jack. Maybe he was actually saying yes to a different deal, something he didn’t mean to say yes to. He looked over to Sam and Sam looked back confused. 

“Hey Sam, can I talk to you in the kitchen for a minute?” Dean asked.

“Sure.” Sam stated and they walked into the kitchen.

“What if this isn’t the real Jack. Did I just agree to something I didn't mean to agree to? Fuck, Sam. Are we not getting Cas back?” Dean breathed, pacing around the kitchen.

“First, Dean, You’ll be fine. Calm down. There is nothing that proves that Jack isn’t Jack. Second, what do you mean getting Cas back?” Sam asked Dean confused. He left the room when Jack told him to. He didn’t hear anything until he came in the room with Dean laughing hysterically.

“Jack… or fake Jack… told me that we could get Cas back. A deal with the empty or something. Sam, I don't believe it. I thought there was no way-” Dean started pacing again, running a hand through his hair.

Dean wondered what it would be like if Cas came back. He loved him. He was in love with the angel Castiel. Dean wouldn’t believe Jack… or fake Jack about the deal. Dean doesn't just “get lucky”. That wasn’t his life, so this? He wasn’t able to believe it. If he let himself believe in the deal, he could get hurt again. He didn’t think he could handle that. His head was hurting and his thoughts were jumbled, he was stressed and clearly past his breaking point but he wouldn’t let that show. Not to Jack, not to Sam, not even to himself.

“Dean, it’s going to be okay.” Sam tried to comfort his brother, but it clearly wasn’t working.

“Damn it Sam, you don’t know that.” Dean rasped, leaning onto the kitchen counter. 

Trust was never easy for a winchester. Dean had only ever trusted Sam until Castiel. Dean trusted Castiel with his life and more. Did Dean trust Jack? Yes. Maybe even with his life, yet this was a hefty claim Jack made. Bringing Cas back. It seemed unbelievable, Dean kept going over the conversation in his head looking for any sign to show that Jack or fake Jack was bullshitting. He couldn’t find any. Dean wanted to believe it so bad. He wanted to allow himself to feel again. To want again… but It couldn't be that easy, it wasn’t possible, right? 

“Maybe we should go back to the library. Jack will start to wonder why we’ve been out of the room so long.” Sam stated, walking over to the doorway. Dean nodded and began to follow him, but stood still when he heard something. Someone.

“Dean?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Next chapter coming up soon😁


	3. Forever, right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Forever, Right?”
> 
> “Forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last chapter of this fic! Sorry it came out so late, I got side tracked by a lot of things. Hope you enjoy!!

Dean turned around and he almost collapsed. His whole world came crashing down, in a good way. He walked up to cas and stared for a good thirty seconds. It was possible that this wasn’t actually Cas, but Dean didn’t care. Cas was standing in front of him, alive. Dean slowly raised his hand and grazed castiel's cheekbone. 

“I’m gonna.. go get jack.” Sam stated awkwardly and left the room.

Dean held castiel's face and breathed. For the first time since castiel's death, Dean took a deep breath. A breath filled with more than air. A breath filled with relief.

“I love you too, cas.” Dean whispered. As if it were the straw that broke the camel's back, castiel cracked a smile. A teary-eyed, painfully beautiful, heartfelt smile. Dean collapsed into Cas, tears streaming down his face. He had let down his guard. Dean never let anyone see him cry, he rarely cried even by himself. He wasn’t ashamed right now. Far from it, actually. His soul was shining as radiant as ever, like a light bulb had been turned on. Cas smiled a watery smile, and stood with Dean in his arms. How it was supposed to be.

After a minute of Cas holding Dean, Dean composed himself, lifted his head off of castiel's shoulder and brought his hands to castiel's face once again. Deans next actions didn’t even involve thought, but it wasn’t on impulse. It was a pulling connection. Something that led dean's lips to castiels, as if dean were a moth, and castiel was his light. 

“You’ve got no idea how long I've wanted to do this.” Dean rasped, kissing Castiel's lips. The kiss was exuberant, something Dean never thought he’d get to feel. He didn’t think there could be a moment better than this. This had to be it, the peak of his life. He was completely content with that. He felt Cas smile into the kiss, and just as Dean pulled his lips away, Sam cleared his throat.

Dean looked up from Cas, over to Sam. Dean started to say something, but Sam interrupted.

“I’m happy to have you back Cas. Glad you’re here.” Sam smiled.

“What happened to Jack?” Dean asked, his hand now holding Castiels. 

“He said he had to take care of some.. god business” Sam shrugged. 

“I’m gonna give you guys a moment…” Sam shuffled out of the room, a few seconds later Dean heard the bunker door shut. 

“Cas, can we talk in my room? We’ve got some catching up to do.” Dean looked at cas nodding, then they walked off to his room.

Deans heart fluttered, he felt like he was in a damn story book. His life wasn’t like this. It wasn’t normal for him to be genuinely happy. He was nervous about so many things, worried that this wouldn’t last. Dean opened his door and sat on the bed, cas following suit. 

“Okay. I know this might be really overwhelming for us and I'm not sure how you’re feeling but I don’t know what’s going to happen from this point on and-” Castiel cut off Dean's rambling, putting both of his hands on Dean's shoulders. 

“Dean. Take a deep breath. Nothing is going to happen, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, okay?” Dean nodded and took a breath. 

“Sorry, cas.” Dean mumbled.

“I’m sorry for everything. All of it. I know that doesn’t suffice- but I love you. I love you so much and I'm sorry for all of the bullshit I've put you through.” Dean sighed, feeling so many emotions he had no idea how to convey. 

Dean hated chick flick moments. His dad engrained it in him and Sam’s brains that if guys were ever emotional, they were weak and not manly enough. Dean stuck with this. Whenever he felt emotion, he felt guilty. Like he shouldn’t have felt anything. He learned though. He learned that his dad was wrong. It was okay to feel. It was okay to be sad, mad, happy, anything. It took him a very long time to accept that, but he was content with it now. 

“I love you too, Dean. I am sorry as well… for a lot.” Cas took his hands off of Dean's shoulders and laid back on the bed. Dean laid beside Cas. Dean took Castiel's hand in his own and sighed, very content. 

They both sat in silence enjoying each other’s company. Their breaths were synced, it was almost as if they had the same exact heartbeat. The only thing that mattered was them. For once in Dean’s life, it was about him. Someone that made him happy, someone that was there for him when he needed them. 

Castiel finally understood something. He understood what his true happiness was. Yes, confessing his love to dean made him happy enough to get sent to the empty, but this was different. This was a mutual love, something Castiel felt could never die. This was his true happiness and the best part was that this time, he didn’t get sent away. Dean looked turned to look at Castiel. 

“Forever, right?” 

“Forever.”

-END-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH for reading. I really hope you enjoyed it. I can’t believe there is anyone on this planet who’d want to read my horrid writing, let alone 460 people! That’s insane guys. Thank you.


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